Every day I uncover something new.
Every day I've been 'coming to terms' with things.
I'm going to start to loathe that phrase soon.
I feel like I've been keeping myself from a part of my womanhood.
Whatever that means.
I've been opening up.
Through art, finding unsuspecting beauty through photography, constructing abstract images still foreign to the front lines of my waking consciousness.
Watching my body transform, not into something foreign, but into what it was meant to be, working at full efficiency, getting rid of unnecessary shit that was hiding parts of me from myself. Work in process. Everyday I see a subtle change. I must compare myself with myself, not what others say I should be. This may be my biggest challenge that I see. How silly it is, but I see how the past has left this residue. I see it easily destroyed in my mind, but the moment isn't quite ripe yet. Intuitive timing.
Beauty, Strength, and Wisdom. These are my three guiding principles.
Beauty : in all, in you, in me, in the piece of lint floating weightlessly through the air.
Strength : the ability to see myself through a challenge. to push through when i am feeling weak. to bask in my insanity sauce without becoming clinically insane.
Wisdom : using my strength and seeing the beauty in a way that furthers my development. knowing when to act and when to be still. listening to the 'otherly' voice.
I am liking this challenge. Everynight I've been broken down a little and each new day I feel rebuilt. Everynight the dirt has been cleared away to reveal something that has been hiding and that I know must be destroyed.
I must keep writing as often as I need to in order to stay in contact with myself.