Reflections

Every day I uncover something new.
Every day I've been 'coming to terms' with things.
I'm going to start to loathe that phrase soon. 
I feel like I've been keeping myself from a part of my womanhood.
Whatever that means.
I've been opening up.
Through art, finding unsuspecting beauty through photography, constructing abstract images still foreign to the front lines of my waking consciousness.

Learning

It takes great effort before it becomes effortless.

The trick is to do everything with great intent and focus.

THE BRAIN IS THE KEY TO ITSELF

One of the hardest actions of a strong person can be to let go. Weak people hold on to what is no longer necessary.

BS Thesis Acknowledgement

"First and foremost my humble thanks goes out to the fabric of

spacetime for allowing me to exist and study this universe we all

are intrinsically a part of."

I tend to thank stuff like this because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and somewhat ‘enlightened’. But I really should be thanking the universe for being such an asshole. Thanks universe.

Story of him

What to say about the mysterious hooded guitar man? Connected to the electricity of his insides, pulsating and moving through his fingers, feeling for that something to feel, the movement of sound and vibration.

Aliens

Up above

Aliens hover

Making home movies

For the folks back home 

On Attraction

What does it mean when I like someone and am attracted to them?
I would like to explore further, to open myself to a uniqueness never experienced before, to learn from their being.

That's about it.

After the Dotted Line

The mirror has not yet been shattered. Foggy now that my own breath has been cast upon it. Tainted as it has always been. I live with it and gladly abide. Next level.

101 worst things that could happen to you

101 worst things that could happen to you

1. You ate a rock, and it was big

2. You accidently burn an X in your head

3. While lighting a cig you catch fire

4. A paper cut

5. You have to sell your liver to support your family

6. You're buried alive

7. You have to eat your best friend

8. you pick your nose too hard and pull out your brain

9. you run head first into a spiked metal wall 

10. you eat bad shrooms

11. you are misidentified as target for castration by an angry wife out for revenge

Atheist

I'm an atheist

I don't believe in god

I have compassion for others

I am empathic

I feel love

I feel passion

I feel wonder

I feel emotion

I question because I am curious to learn about the universe I live in

I question because I am curious to learn about myself

I am fallible

I make mistakes

I want to grow from my experiences

I don't shy away from uncomfortable truths

I feel pain and despair

I've felt broken

I've opened myself to trust in myself

Supernova

Today I felt how an orgasm is like a supernova. Inside reactions are taking place. Things are heating up and pressure builds on the inside. When a balance of forces can no longer be sustained, the core contracts and then releases energy in a big burst. 

After the initial burst there is then an afterglow. The core is no longer fusing energy. 

Unlike a dead star the human regenerates and rebuilds so that one is able to burst and die again. It's reliving a cosmic wonder on a human scale.

Feasting in the bad times, makes good writing?

…Ah, to be decedent and uncontrolled. The forces overcome my Will to hold my cravings back. What is this craving but a craving for regress and stagnation? This is the worst kind of personal sin. A personal sin so permeated world-wide with sinners laughing the the face of those that cannot even feed their family. Progress is not defined in terms of technicalities, true progress must be gauged by the greater whole, how it benefits all, not solely by the stick of business and economy. So my quest for healing myself turns into healing the world.

Beer and stars

Beer and the stars...mmm couldn't ask for more, yet there is.

What do I really want?

If I was on an island with every commodity at my disposal, what would my role in the community be? Point, work, build? To what end? No. Live, enjoy, create. Where do I see myself in this community of fellows? On a hill overlooking it all.

How does one make it in the world as a modern day shaman? Where do I go? Refuge. Retreat -> Emerge …to build the light. Each one holds the light. Giving… passing the torch… I need a flame to pass.

Back

OK BITCHES. I'm back and with force. The ultimate doom of the gnomes...salt. Sucked them dry, they now look like oily potato chips, very unappealing and bad for one's health. But the now the salty chip gnomes huddle in a bag waiting to be eaten by some unsuspecting victim, or so I would think. Updates will come shortly given my lack of time. But.. here are ideas for what is in store

Our Planet

To be aware of a very possible mass extinction of the human species brought on by the human species makes me sick to my stomach. Going down, down, killing ourselves because we are controlled by money and false power. False power destroys us. I stare into the world as though it were my last viewing. My only reason to live is for the beauty in all. Beauty in destruction? Perhaps so, but it should not be so unconscious as it is. Unconscious destruction for the sake of ego preservation is not beauty.

Worst Fear

And to think that what I fear the most would be to find out that I'm not as crazy as I'd hoped...

Jesus gossip

What a hokey story this is, check it out...so this guy was engaged this chick right, but then he found out that she's been whoring around and got pregnant, so he decides to call off the engagement. but then that night he has a dream with some wierd voice calling itself "the lord" telling him that its this guy lord's baby and he needs to call this baby Jesus...so for some reason he changes his mind and marries the chick anyways and adopts the son even though its some other guy's who doesn't even pay child support.

Light

Light = Energy = Matter = Atoms = Molecules = Cells = Organs = Humans

 therefore, Light = Humans = Energy
... or any way you like it,
rough or gentle?
a little of both? 

Of Reading and Writing

Of all writings I love only that which is written with blood. Write with blood: and you will discover that blood is spirit.

It is not an easy thing to understand unfamiliar blood: I hate the reading idler.

He who knows the reader, does nothing further for the reader. Another century of readers - and spirit itself will stink.

That everyone can learn to read will ruin in the long run not only writing, but thinking too.

Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob.

From anonymous

Never give up on yourself, even when you feel like shit. You’re allowed to feel like shit.

If you have nothing to live for and can’t stand the world around you - you have nothing to lose. Take a risk and piss people off; make the world a better place.

Thesis Complete

Ok, so I've been officially done with my thesis for almost a week now. I really have nothing to say about it. Good riddens?

“Progress”

Did you know that with all the money spent on “progress,” research to explore the universe, nature , our bodies, our composition, we are still infinitely ignorant? The more we come to know, the more questions and/or problems arise. The more we strive for progress, the more we have to find out about nature in order to correct the problems we create. This is mindless progress so I call it destruction. How do we fix ourselves?

Personal Crap questions

What are my fears? What are my insecurities? Why do I feel these things? With emotional detachment they all seem kind of silly.

Do I give up?

Hell no.

A Bathroom Dialogue

(parenthesis indicate comments added afterwards not included in the original dialogue)

D: 
The Origin of "God" 
"In the beginning there was nothing, then the nothing became aware that it was nothing and became SOMETHING." Hmm..You are nothing, but with awareness arises something. Sounds kind of neat, aye? Whoa nelly.